I'll have a side of angst with my mystery, thank you!

I get up in the mornings and hit the treadmill.  Not literally, just go there for some exercise.  I like being able to watch something on TV; it makes exercise less heinous.

Now that we have Netflix I have been watching some old series' that I never watched while they were on TV.  I am also getting a lot of ribbing from my family. I got hooked on Veronica Mars.  It is a teen show about a girl, Veronica, who's dad was Sheriff but is now a PI.  She does a lot of sleuthing with him.  While she is in High School she ends up doing a lot of sleuthing for her peers.

My family likes to tease me that I am watching a show for teenagers.  My husband asked me "didn't you have enough angst in High School?".  They don't even have to listen to it when I am on the treadmill.  My hubby rigged up a really long chord for the headphone jack and I use my headphones while I am getting sweaty.

I like dramas, mysteries, cop shows etc. I think I finally decided why I liked Veronica Mars so much, aside from the fact that I actually enjoyed the characters and story lines, it's that a show geared toward teens isn't filled with sex scenes and foul language.  I could get my dose of mystery and intrigue at a PG level.

So, I have decided that they can rib all they want.  I will keep on watching teenage shows if I enjoy them. Besides, you are only as old as you feel.  Maybe that's why I enjoy it!!

Since I finished Veronica Mars I am now watching Friday Night Lights.  It is about a small Texas town that loves nothing but High School Football.  Because they are in Texas there is a lot of prayer on this show too.  Although it is a family show it is also classified at a teen show which will make it prime for family ribbing.

Bring it on!

Where do your prejudices lie?

I watched Paper Clips, a documentary about a small Tennessee town whose Middle School was trying to teach it's children about diversity and acceptance.  They came up with the idea to teach them about the Holocaust. During a discussion about the 6 million Jews that died a girl asked what 6 million was; that she had never "seen" 6 million.  They decided to search for something that they could collect to represent this number.

Enter the paperclip. They discovered it was invented by a Norwegian and that people in Norway wore paperclips, during the war, to represent people they knew who had been killed or taken to the concentration camps .  This was there way of silently remembering and speaking out so as to not be taken away themselves.



The kids started writing letters, one thing led to another and they ended up collecting over 27 million paperclips.  Most would come one or two at a time with a letter telling the kids about the person the paperclip represented. They had visitors who were survivors and ended up getting a rail car that was used to transport Jews.  It was brought to the school and set up as a memorial that 6 million paper clips were housed in.  They are now sharing this lesson with other schools who come there on field trips.

One of the things that was mentioned in the documentary was how quick we are to judge people.  We may think we are not prejudiced because we are fine with Jews, with African-Americans, with Latinos or Asians etc. etc. etc.  But how often do we stereotype people.

Here are some common ones that I have heard:

Southern drawl = stupid red neck.
Overweight person = lazy slob.
Disheveled and unkempt clothes and hair in a Wal-mart = white trash.
Mormons = those crazy people with 6 wives who wear long black coats and have horns.

People think these things but they are all wrong.  I personally don't have 6 wives or horns. I shave mine down for ease of hairstyle.  (bazinga!)

It made me really stop and think about how quick we can be to put labels on people and what a travesty this is.  The thought doesn't really hurt the person, (if there is no action on the thought) I think the person it hurts is the one doing the labeling.  Why cloud your head with negative thoughts about others.  What is the point?

Judge not lest ye be judged ( I read that this is the most mis-quoted scripture and is actually Judge not, that ye be not Judged - Matthew 7:1)

It really gave me something to think about and put into practice.  To have more compassion, pity, and love for others who are different.  It also makes me wonder what labels have been put on me.

Where do your prejudices lie?

Where is my wagon?

Ok, so I have fallen off the diet wagon and I am trying to get back on.  I have gained a few pounds since I have been back home and unemployed even though I have been walking/jogging/doing yard work etc.

I am cooking dinner, bread, trying new recipes etc. and it has gotten tougher to follow a strict diet.  When I was working I would fix myself a lunch, usually a salad, and snacks for the day.  Now that I am fixing food for the whole family I have to make stuff everyone wants to eat.  Another problem is that my youngest LOVES to bake brownies, something I have a very hard time saying no to.

Today I tried to find my wagon and take the driver's seat again.   School starts in a couple weeks so that should cut down on the brownie baking. Hopefully I can take the wagon for a ride and control the beastie.

Home Alone!

Today has been somewhat strange.  Hubby and oldest daughter are at work.  Youngest daughter is at girls camp.  It has been me and the pug home alone all day.  Needless to say the house has been quiet.  It has been an overcast rainy day; the perfect type of day for a nap.  I have to admit I nodded off while I was crocheting in front of the t.v.  I am working on a granny square afghan to put up on the Etsy shop.

My mom always said that she liked rainy days.  It made her feel like she could stay home and get things accomplished instead of having to go out running errands.  I usually don't like rainy days because they are dark and gloomy.  The older I get, the more I like rainy days.  I am starting to see them through my mother's eyes.  They make you feel like snuggling into a blankie and reading or going in the kitchen and baking something yummy.

Even though I like a rainy day I am much more productive on a sunny day.  I am more energized by them (if I don't have to be out in the hot blazing sun which makes me feel like popsicle melting onto the pavement).

It's strange how you can be affected by things like the weather, the sun, having other people around.  I will enjoy it while I can.  The youngest, the noisier bouncier one, will be home tomorrow.  Although I love her energy, her joie de vivre, I will savor the quiet a little longer.

Where did that come from?

I haven't posted in a long time and I have been trying to figure out why.  After a bit of thought it is probably because for the past several months I have had a lot of turmoil in my life.  This would seem to be the perfect time to post and get things out, however, most of it was regarding work and I didn't feel like I needed to talk about that publicly.

My life has drastically changed during the first half of this year and after not posting for so long it is hard to know where to begin. That added to the delays in posting.

 In February, after working for my company for 3 years and in an Office Manager position, they did some departmental restructuring and eliminated my position.  I was told they didn't want to lose me so they asked me to stay on in a recently vacated position as a Billing Specialist/Team lead.  This is a position I had just been manager over.  This was a very difficult thing to do. Part of me wanted to just quietly leave the company and never talk to anyone about it.  Another part of me thought I just needed to suck it up and take the new position, especially in this economy.  I stayed.  It was a very difficult transition to go from being a manager to being a non manager in the same department and moving from an office to a desk in the general area.  This new position also came with a lower rate of pay.  It was especially difficult for those working with me.  The first week or so a lot of people didn't want to look me in the eye and you could tell they were really uncomfortable around me.  It wasn't a general announcement and the majority of the company didn't know about it and still treated me as though I was a manager.  Really strange dynamic.

The "team" had a full plate with three people and was currently only two people.  Needless to say we were swamped but we held on and actually made progress and were doing some great things. I was able to start a new auditing process that was finding a lot of revenue that wasn't being billed and catching things before they billed in error and preventing potential refund issues. Part of this new job was to be logged into a queue half of the day taking phone calls.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't like being on the phones.  However, I did it and was great on the phones.  My luck to excel in something I don't like.  People who know me also know that I am a tad vocal when I notice things I feel are wrong and are causing problems.  I tried to channel my "vocal inclinations" to my direct manager instead of talking about them to co workers and basically kept my head down and worked hard.

Mid June I was "let go". I was told I had a bad attitude and trouble prioritizing.  I was totally surprised. I had never been written up.

Anyway, I am once again a stay at home mom.  The thing that surprised me is how much I am enjoying it.  I used to feel like being a SAHM was nothing special and to really be important or make an impact on the world, I needed to go to work.  I needed to be a professional to be something.

I am so surprised by how much I am truly enjoying the time I am having this summer with my two teenagers.  We are spending time crafting a lot and have just decided to open up an ETSY shop together.  I am relearning how to cook.  I have changed my eating habits a lot over the last few years in an effort to lose weight and get healthier.  While I worked full time I rarely, if ever, cooked dinner.  I am pretty much cooking every night.  I am baking homemade wheat bread with flour I ground myself.

I am feeling like I am actually getting my Domestic Goddessness back.  It is wonderful.  It is scary not being employed and I am grateful for unemployment.  I am still looking for a job, although in this economy it is really hard.

I don't know how long I will be unemployed but in the mean time I am trying to use my time wisely and take advantage of the time I have with my girls.

Where-in-the-world-is-the-Do-me-stic-God-dess?

While I was safe at home in my office checking email, I was apparently also being mugged in London asking family and friends, old and new, to wire money to me.

Yes, my Facebook account was hacked and someone was chatting up people while pretending to be me.

It was very disconcerting to look at my online chat, which is set to off line, be online and active.  I saw several chat boxes open and having conversations with people.  One chat was dropping the f-bomb quite liberally.  I turned the chat to offline and went to answer the phone.  A family member seeing if I was alright.  When I came back to my facebook the chat was active and going again.  This time I logged off and restarted my machine.

I had several concerned phone calls that day from friends and family asking if I was ok.  They figured I wasn't really in London, knowing that if I really was going to London they would have heard about it from me a long time before this.  I also had a few responses basically stating " I would have sent you money, but they obviously haven't looked at my account" or "I'm the poorest person on the planet" or "I haven't talked to her in years, why would she contact me when she has that huge family".

Basically, I was hacked by a stupid person.


It was heartening to know that my friends and family are smarter than this stupid hacker person.  Many asking probing questions that the stupid hacker person wouldn't know but the real me would have known.  It was also nice to feel the care and concern from those contacted by this stupid person.


Facebook, being the wonderful institution they are, has disabled my account because I violated the terms of use by impersonating another person and sending out solicitations for funds.

Seems the hacker isn't the only one who is stupid.

Growing old gracefully? Well, that depends . . . .

I learned something about myself last night.  My body doesn't like to run.

Now, for those of you who love me and think I am perfect and want to maintain that illusion, this is a TMI alert that you may not want to read what follows, however I know that many of my girlfriends will totally relate.

I was doing a fat burn speed program on my treadmill last night.  Now let me qualify speed.  The maximum speed that I put on the program was 4 mph.  The program will run at different speeds up and down throughout a 30 minute workout.

I was doing great.  2.8 up to 3.4, moving a little faster, swinging my arms, having a good time.  Then it moves up to 4 mph which is a bit of a jog for me.

When I say my body doesn't like to run I don't mean the fact that I have to hold on to the treadmill so I don't trip and fall flat on my face, or that I was huffing and puffing like an asthmatic, or the fact that my knees were screaming at me "hey, what did we ever do to you"!  No, the reason my 41 year old body doesn't like running is the up and down, pounding action that was happening on my bladder.

I was hanging on trying not to fall on my face when I start thinking to myself "I kind of need to go to the bathroom.  I need to go to the bathroom.  I really need to go to the bathroom.  I can't stop in the middle of my work out but I really really have to go to the bathroom". I am trying to hold out through the short segment of 4 mph for the up and down pounding to stop when it happened.  I had a little leakage.  (I warned you!)

Now this wasn't a release of rushing waters, just a little leakage, but still!  How humiliating.

Having birthed offspring I know all about the leakage when you sneeze or when you laugh too hard or when you cough or when you look at someone cross-eyed, not really but you get the idea.  I have talked to my Dr. about that and have a lovely pill that I take now.  However, what are you supposed to do when you are holding on trying not to fall on your face for an extended period of time?

My scrapbook girls want me to do a 5k with them.  What is a (fabulous) middle age bladder control  challenged person to do?  Am I going to have to saddle up to a "product"?

I think I would rather stay home and scrapbook.

Who says the grass is greener?

In my job, managing a department, I have the occasion to learn things about people's personal lives. Having done payroll and working in the accounting department also affords me those opportunities. Oft times more than I really wanted to know.

Sometimes you look at people and think "they have it all together" or "I wish I had such-and-such like they do". Mostly, it makes me look and my life and think it isn't so bad.

Today is one of those days.  I have my own personal struggles, insecurities, failings; what have you, but all in all, my life isn't so bad.

I have a husband who supports me (most of the time) in things I want to do, my kids are mostly obedient and smart (although I wish one would clean a little more and one would go get a job), I have a good job and I like my job, we can pay our bills, I like my family and his family and we are healthy.

Not everyone can say that.

Theny I hear about this earthquake in Haiti.  Our company adopted an orphanage in Haiti.  The CEO of our company has two babies there that they are in the process of adopting.  It is hard to get word from Haiti.  They are very impoverished and don't have the kind of infrastructure to withstand such violent earthquakes.

Tonight I know my babies (teenagers as they are) are safe and sound.

I hope we can all take a moment to be grateful for the grass we stand on, weeds and all and say a little prayer for our brothers and sisters a world away.

Glittery Goodness

I used glitter today, something I haven't done in a long time. I had to make a sample of the craft I am doing for a YW activity.

I decided to make something using the theme for the Youth this year and I think it turned out really well.  I did a flower in each of the YW Value colors and the glitter is the center of the flowers.

I am going to have each of the girls names printed out so they can personalize their notebooks.  My point was to really personalize the popped up portion of the scripture.

This is a fun calling but here is the challenge:  Find something that 12 to 17 year old girls would all like to do that they can make in 1 1/2 hours and keep the cost down to $1 to $2 each. Then be prepared with enough supplies that if all 35 come they can all make it.  Rarely do you get everyone but you can aim high!

For this sample, I cheated a little.  Being Sunday, and not having an extra notebook, I made the sample on the back of one I made for Christmas.

This is a 4x6" notebook that you can get a Wally Word for $1.  Everything else was from my scrapbook supplies.

I have been doing this for a little over a year and I am running out of ideas.
If you have any fabulous ideas that will fit the bill, I would love to hear them.

Resolutions Schmesolutions!

So the new year has come and we are officially in the "10's".  I can't believe how time flies the older you get.

I have just enjoyed a week and a half of vacation time and it all ends tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off.  I spent a lot of time in my jammies.  What could be better!

The last three days I have helped my daughter paint her room.  We learned a new technique: "ragging".  We bought a rag roller (Ralph Lauren; don't be impressed.  The only person who sells one).  It is basically a lint free cloth scrunched up and attached to a roller.  You could make one yourself using rubber bands but I figured $9 is worth the trouble. I rolled the glaze onto a small section then she followed after with a sponge to soften the application.  We kind of used two techniques together to create her unique look.

I am not much of a New Year Resolutions gal.  I am more of a think it over in my head then do it kind of gal. I figure if I need to do something why wait until January 1st.  If I haven't gotten to it by January 1st, I don't want to make a production out of deciding what to do.

I have been working on trying to get a little more balance in my life.  I have a tendency to go whole hog into whatever I am doing.  My husband uses the word obsessive;  I prefer to think of it as dedicated.  Anyway I have been trying to leave work at 5 instead of staying until 6 or 7.  Stuff will still be there tomorrow.

I am going to keep on with that through out the new year.  In part of my balance I want to try and attend to some more spiritual parts of my life.  I want to focus on my tithes and offerings, serving others, and reading my scriptures. It is very easy to get carried away in work and fun things (like crafting and reading and scrapbooks) and let the spiritual things fall by the wayside.

I want to take more time for myself and spend more time with my family and friends. I also want to work on the creative outlets in my life.  Scrapbooking, making (and sending) cards, and blogging.

What "think it out in your head and do it" kinds of things will you be working on this year?

Passing on a Work Ethic

Oftentimes I wonder if I have been a failure as a mother or if my kids are just being kids. It has been a strange transition to go from doing everything myself and to my standards to having the kids be responsible for things and striking a balance between what I want and their abilities and/or willingness to do things.

My house used to be so much cleaner when I wasn't working full time. Now much of that responsibility falls on the kids; kids who would much rather spend time surfing the internet, playing guitar hero, sleeping, or hanging out with friends. When they do get to their chores it is doing the bare minimum to get by with having done it.

When does that desire to do things at a better or higher level kick in? Does that come with being solely responsible, having your own place and no one else to do it? Because I sure haven't found a way to instill it in my kids yet. And if I have, they sure aren't letting me in on the secret!

It makes me wonder if they are ready to be adults on their own. I wonder what kind of employees, mothers, wives they will be.

If I could go back and do anything differently while raising them it would be to let/make them do more earlier. My biggest failure with that was I either thought they were "too little to do that" or they couldn't do it to the way I (being a perfectionist) liked it done or it was easier to do it myself than to spend the time teaching them to do it "right".

The problem with this is they grow up thinking that mom will do everything and if we ask them to clean their rooms we are so mean and unfair. When my oldest was about 4 years old we told her to go and clean her room. She turned around and looked at us and said "but mom is the worker".

Wow, talk about straight to the heart!

We can joke about that comment now but the underlying message of the statement still holds true. So I want to know. How do you get that work ethic kick in? That is one torch I want to pass on.

Tags: Work Ethic, Teaching kids to work, Being a Perfectionist

School Daze.

Did you have a favorite subject in school? One you dreaded?

School and I got along fine. I was a good student, the teachers liked me, I liked most of them. I think my favorite classes were English/Reading/Literature classes. It took me a while to realize this though. When I graduated from High School my plan was to go to school for Interior Design. Now that I am older when I think of going back to school I want to study English with an art minor.

I had a lot of other classes that I enjoyed. I took French for two years. I loved my co-ed P.E. class, which says a lot for me because I am not Mrs. Sports. I had a Needle Arts class in which we did all sorts of hand-work crafty type stuff. Right up my alley.

Sometimes I have dreams that I am back in High School and I am going to my French class, but in my dream I am failing it. I am so afraid that I am not going to graduate because of it. Graduation was held in the Marriott Center because we had a class of 400+. At graduation time they used to put a big map of the seating chart up on the window of the main office. You would see everyone's names and where they were seated. If someone wasn't graduating they would have a big X through that seat. Can you imagine something like that happening today? Anyway, my seat was X'd out in this dream because I was failing French class.

I don't know where this comes from. I did pass that class and did graduate from High School. Isn't it weird how 20 some-odd years after High School I would have dreams like that.

I never have the dream where I show up at school not wearing anything though, thank heavens. Those who know and love me know that I am too much of a non-nudist. I like my jammies too much.

So, what bad dreams do you have about High School?

Tags: High School, Graduation, Bad Dreams

See why I need help!

In an effort to do better at journal writing I made a Journal Jar. It is really an old Ovaltine container covered in paper and "Mom's Journal Jar!" stamped on the front. Anyway it is full of journal prompts to get you going. Problem is, I made this thing with my girls about 7 years ago and I think I have used about three prompts from it.

See why I need help!

A few months ago for an activity in Young Women I had them make Journal Jars. I rededicated myself to journal using my blog. I am all about typing instead of pen and paper. Much faster. Have I used it? No.

See why I need help!

Well, I was talking with some friends at church (one of which mentioned I never update my blog), so when I came home from church I thought I would catch up on reading people's blogs. Lo and behold when I came to her blog, she was doing Journal Jar posts!

This has re-re-dedicated me to use my Journal Jar. Thanks Sheral!

So, to make sure I actually live up to my re-re-dedication I am actually going to post again, this time using my . . . . . you guessed it, Journal Jar!

Tags: Journal Jar

Go to bed, I'm tired!

I never understood why my mom used to say that to me when I was a kid. I always thought "well, if you are tired why don't you go to bed"?

Now that I am the mom of teenagers I completely understand the sentiment. I am tired. I want peace and quiet. When you are awake I can't have that peace and quiet. I am also afraid to leave you unsupervised with friends while I am sleeping. I am tired and want to go to bed, thus you need to go to bed.

Long story short: Go to bed, I'm tired!

It's amazing that the older we get the more we realize just how smart our parents really were.

The "eyes" have it!

I don't know what is worse, getting soap in your eye or an eyelash.

I experienced both in my shower. Here I am washing my face when my daughter, taking a shower in the other bathroom, did something that adjusted my water temperature. I was startled which caused me to briefly open my eye and get soap in it. I did my best to rinse it out and carried on with the business at hand which then led to shaving my legs. With both hands covered in foaming shave gel and holding a razor - I get an eyelash in the other eye. I switch between frantically blinking to get it out and keeping my eye closed so it doesn't hurt, all the while peering through one eye to finish shaving.

Finally finished with my shower I emerge only slightly damaged; my eyesight still in tact with only a few nicks from shaving.

So, if you see me with bloodshot eyes and a band aid on my leg; don't ask!