Divine Nature

While studying in Matthew tonight, I was trying to find a quote in some old lessons I taught while I was Relief Society President. I read this lesson on Divine Nature and realized it was something I needed to read for myself.

It struck such a chord with me, I wanted to share it, to remind all the amazing women I know that we are wonderful and amazing, and we need to learn to love ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to each other.

It is kind of long but filled with a great message. It is amazing what the Lord can inspire you to put together. I hope you can stick it out to the end!

Divine Nature

While trying to prepare this lesson I decided it is much easier to write a talk than write a lesson from scratch.  I know what I want to convey to you but how do I put it into words.  How do I ask questions that will engage you?  How do I get the feelings of my heart to be expressed in a way that will resonate with you?  I am hoping that divine intervention and inspiration will attend me today because I haven’t been able to put this together as cohesively and thoroughly as I would have liked.

There are a lot of good quotes that totally convey what I want to cover.  I could just read conference talks to you and have the message given more eloquently and by more knowledgeable people than me.  What is it that I can offer to this lesson, to this group of women?  The only thing I can think of is my understanding and experience with what I want to talk about.

As women, we are hard on ourselves.  We expect ourselves to be perfect, to be everything to everyone, and impose almost impossible standards onto ourselves.  We look at women we see at church (represented by the woman in this statue); knowing what we look like when we wake up in the morning, how messy our house gets, that we are grumpy or lose patience with our kids; and think of ourselves and this unattractive gray rock.

We then compare ourselves to others and we usually come out on the bad end.  Why do we compare ourselves?

·         Life is hard

·         Depression

·         incorrect perspective

·         We don’t have all the facts.

What can happen when we compare ourselves to others?

·         We judge others

·         we feel bad about ourselves

·         we create an opening for Satan’s influence

·          possibly lose our Heavenly Father’s spirit

Example:

If I were me, sitting out there, looking up at the RS Pres. giving a lesson on divine nature or individual worth, I would think to myself “yeah, easy for her to say, she has it all together.”

I know it is very easy to feel like this rock. 

I don’t have it all together.  I know what I look like in the morning.  I struggle with my weight. I have dealt with depression for many years. I know that at 43 I still get pimples.  I know that I struggle with scripture reading.  I know that when we tell our kids we want to start having family home evening they ask "Why bother? Because it never works."

Now that you are wondering “why” they put “her” in as RSP? I ask:

How then, when I know all of these unattractive gray rock things about myself, am I expected to feel like this beautiful white statue;  full of individual worth and divine nature?

Is it possible that when we are comparing ourselves to others we are really asking “who am I?”

If that is the case, then we need to know our identity.

Knowing our identity:

Julie B. Beck, Pres, Conf 2007

Knowing and defending the divine roles of women is so important in a world where women are bombarded with false messages about their identity. Popular media figures on the radio and television set themselves up as authorities and spokespersons for women. While these media messages may contain elements of truth, most preach a gospel of individual fulfillment and self-worship, often misleading women regarding their true identity and worth. These voices offer a counterfeit happiness, and as a result, many women are miserable, lonely, and confused.

The only place Latter-day Saint women will learn the whole and complete truth about their indispensable role in the plan of happiness is in this Church and its doctrine. We know that in the great premortal conflict we sided with our Savior, Jesus Christ, to preserve our potential to belong to eternal families. We know we are daughters of God, and we know what we are to do. Women find true happiness when they understand and delight in their unique role within the plan of salvation. The things women can and should do very best are championed and taught without apology here. We believe in the formation of eternal families. That means we believe in getting married. We know that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. That means we believe in having children. We have faith that with the Lord’s help we can be successful in rearing and teaching children. These are vital responsibilities in the plan of happiness, and when women embrace those roles with all their hearts, they are happy!

President Gordon B. Hinckley said:

“You are second to none. You are daughters of God.

“There has come to you as your birthright something beautiful and sacred and divine. Never forget that. Your Eternal Father is the great Master of the universe. He rules over all, but He also will listen to your prayers as His daughter and hear you as you speak with Him. He will answer your prayers. He will not leave you alone” (“Stay on the High Road,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2004, 112).

How can we know our identity?

How can we learn our identity and understand the divinely appointed mission the Lord has for us?

·         a parent or a leader

·         patriarchal blessings

·         Prayer

·         serving others

·         attend your church meetings

Patriarchal Blessing:

Pres. Monson, Nov 1986

Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. It may be brief or lengthy, simple or profound. Length and language do not a patriarchal blessing make. It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning. Your blessing is not to be folded neatly and tucked away. It is not to be framed or published. Rather, it is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed. Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night.

Prayer:

Richard G. Scott, conf 2000

Let us encourage every woman who questions her value to turn to her Heavenly Father and His glorified Son for a supernal confirmation of her immense individual worth. I testify that as each woman seeks it in faith and obedience, the Savior will continually prompt her through the Holy Ghost. That guidance will lead her to fulfillment, peace, and a consuming joy through magnifying her divinely appointed, sacred womanhood.

Service:

James E. Faust  Conf. 2009

Serving others can begin at almost any age. Often the greatest service to others is one-on-one. It need not be on a grand scale, and it is noblest within the family.

Attend Church:

Susan W. Tanner, Young Women General President, Conf 2007

All over the world and in almost every language, young women ages 12 to 18 declare the same thing: “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.”  Yet as they grow up, they often grow away from the confident knowledge . . . that they are very special. Youth often experience an identity crisis, wondering who they really are. The teenage years are also a time of what I describe as “identity theft,” meaning that worldly ideas, philosophies, and deceits confuse us, buffet us, and seek to rob us of the knowledge of our true identity.

One very good young woman said to me, “Sometimes I am not sure who I am. I don’t feel Heavenly Father’s love. My life seems hard. Things are not turning out the way I wanted, hoped, and dreamed they would.” What I said to her I now say to young women everywhere: I know unequivocally that you are a daughter of God. He knows you, He loves you, and He has a plan for you.

This is spoken to the Young Women but I share it with you because it applies to us equally.  We are going to start having the Laurels come into RS on the 4^th Sunday.  We will be joining them in standing and saying the YW Theme.  I love the YW theme.  I love that daughters of God all over the world are standing and saying “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.”  

I enjoyed being a part of that while serving in YW and I want you to be able to feel of that as well.

What can we do when we feel bad about ourselves?

Ok, great.  We all know this but how does this help me when I am stuck at home with a sick baby, a whiny toddler or a know-it-all teenager; if I am in the throes of depression; if I don’t have the emotional where-with-all to face a crowd at church; if I have a mountain of laundry to do, bills to pay, and meals to prepare?

Gray rock time:  I have had days where I haven’t come to church because I didn’t feel like I could be cheerful enough to be here.  Being in the midst of people who “have it all together” was too much.  I also struggle with temple attendance.  It causes anxiety in me. I am so afraid that I am going to do or say something wrong, that everyone will be looking at me or waiting on me, that I am a ball of anxiety and nerves. That makes it very hard for me to want to experience. It is something I am working on.

What can we do when we feel bad about ourselves?

·         Call a friend or a spouse

·         Pray

·         listen to good music

·         take a nap

·         go to the temple

·         read good books

·         take a walk

·         list our blessings

·         read your patriarchal blessing

·         serve others

James E. Faust  Conf. 2009

I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the “highest place of honor” in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.

One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others.

Silvia H. Allred, First Counselor, RS Pres, Conf 2009

I have witnessed the same miracle in the lives of many women in different parts of the world. They embrace the gospel, and Relief Society helps them strengthen their faith and grow spiritually by giving them leadership and teaching opportunities. In their service, a new dimension is added to their lives. As they progress spiritually, their sense of belonging, identity, and self-worth increases. They realize that the whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for us to reach our fullest potential. 

C. S. Lewis wisely said: “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. … There are no ordinary people. … Your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses” (“The Weight of Glory,” in Screwtape Proposes a Toast and Other Pieces [1974], 109–10).

Gray rock time:  When I was going to counseling for depression several years ago, I had a counselor tell me that I should lower my standards.  Well, that just made me mad.  I thought “Why should I have to lower my standards!  Why shouldn’t my family have to raise theirs”!

It took a different therapist, to explain it to me in a different way, to understand his meaning.  I have to decide what really matters.  Will my children turn out horribly if there is dust on top of the fridge or dust bunnies under the sofa?  Will my eternal salvation be in jeopardy if the dishes don’t get done today?

We don’t have to do it all and we certainly don’t have to do it all TODAY!

We need to have some down time, some personal time, some me time.  I love the analogy of the bank account. (You have to make deposits before you can make withdrawals.)

Richard G. Scott, conf 2000

President Hinckley has eloquently captured what the Lord has repeatedly inspired His servants to say of His precious daughters:

“Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.

“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.” ¹

True Identity Realized!

What happens when we realize our true identity?  When we stop comparing ourselves to each other and learn to love the wonderful things about us?

OPEN ROCK

We realize that we are beautiful in our own way.  This geode is beautiful in its own way.  It doesn’t diminish the beauty of this statue; the statue doesn’t diminish the beauty of the geode.

Be the best YOU!

The Lord said: “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; … for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

This is our hope for you, as your presidency, that we can all realize that we are wonderful, beautiful, talented women.

The Ultimate Irony - Again

“One of the ultimate ironies of eternity is that the adversary, who is miserable precisely because he has no physical body, invites and entices us to share in his misery through the improper use of our bodies.” [1]

I love this talk. I blogged about it a couple weeks ago. 

Although this statement was applied more to acting as if in a disembodied state by overuse of technology and being in the false world of virtual reality, it is amazing how it can be applied to so many ways in which Satan tries to get us to misuse our bodies.

I was trying to explain to my friend what it is like to be a compulsive eater and be eating something all the while knowing that you don’t want it, that it doesn’t even taste good anymore, and you just keep reaching for more. This talk came into my head. This is my disembodied state.

Aha moment!

This is one of the ways that Satan is trying to get me to misuse my body.

Another one of Elder Bednar’s restated points is that we are to act and not be acted upon. In those “disembodied” moments of compulsion, I feel acted upon. 

I feel out of control. 

Not in control. 

Helpless and hopeless.

Herein lies my struggle; to be present enough in times of stress or distress to stay present, and not be acted upon.

---

[1] Elder David A. Bednar, “Things as They Really Are,” CES Fireside for Young Adults, May 3, 2009, Brigham Young University-Idaho

Step 1: Honesty

On Tuesday, I attended my first general addiction recovery meeting. It was so hard to go there. Kind of like when you are driving to the dentist to get a root canal. You don't really want to go, but you know you need to. 

Fortunately, someone else arrived at the same time I did, so I didn’t have to walk in alone. Everyone was kind and welcoming and the two sister missionaries facilitating the meeting were adorable.

The group was reading about Step 6 in this meeting, but afterward, they gave me a booklet to take home and told me to start working on Step 1 and go at my own pace. One of the things that I loved, and found so interesting, was that everything said there was said through a testimony of our Savior and the Atonement.

Throughout the week, I read step one a couple times, went to the addiction recovery site to get a little more information, and listened to a sample meeting for Step 1. It is amazing the depths of despair and loneliness and sin in which some people have to go to be ready to face their demons of addiction. I have nothing but admiration for people who have faced those demons head on and battle them every day.

Although addiction is addiction, I haven’t been brought to the point of losing my family, my home, my employment, my testimony, or my virtue in search of feeding an addiction. For this I am grateful.

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Step1: Honesty

KEY PRINCIPLE: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.

“. . . we soon discovered that the addiction relieved more than just physical pain. It provided stimulation or numbed painful feelings or moods. It helped us avoid the problems we faced—or so we thought. For a while, we felt free of fear, worry, loneliness, discouragement, regret, or boredom . . . “

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“Addiction surrenders later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one can literally become disconnected from his or her own will.” ^[1]

Admitting I am powerless over something is very hard for me to do. I don’t want to have to need anyone. I want to be able to power through whatever problem there is and come out on the other side. I don’t want to be vulnerable or weak or not good enough. I put a lot of pressure on myself to become better and life doesn’t let me do it as fast as I want.

Does this make my goals unrealistic? Perhaps. Is this giving me a reason to seek for comfort and solace in food? Probably. Does this mean I will have to change my goals and dreams? I don’t know.

Shouldn’t I be able to dream big, reach for the stars, seek to become something better? Isn’t that what understanding our divine nature is about?

Do I have to settle for less?

Is this all that I am meant to be?

---

[1] Russell M. Nelson, Conference Report, Oct. 1988, 7; or Ensign, Nov. 1988, 7

[2] Addiction Recovery Program - A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing

Of Creativity and Priorities

Harvard Business School professor, Teresa Amabile, has an interesting take on creativity. In her research, discussed in her HBR article Recognizing and Shaping Opportunities, she has come to the conclusion that creativity is made up of three intersecting components: Expertise, Motivation, and Creative-Thinking Skills.

Expertise includes experiences, education, and knowledge.

Motivation refers to both internal passion and interests, and to external rewards.

Creative-thinking skills include the way people approach and solve problems and put existing ideas together in new combinations.

Amabile says that these three components help frame how entrepreneurs recognize opportunities.

This was exciting to me because the main reason I have felt I’m NOT an entrepreneur is that I don’t have ideas. The concept that I can use my expertise, internal passions, and problem solving abilities to recognize opportunities, is exciting. There is hope for me yet!

Something that really stood out to me this week was the case study we read of Randy Haykin, in which he discusses the difficulty of being an entrepreneur and having quality time for your family. Haykin said that mentors (plural, so more than one person) told him that “it is impossible to start a company and have a family that still loves you in the process.” That is kind of a bleak outlook. 

“I always felt that if all success means is an unhappy family or a divorce situation or kids that can’t relate to you, then what is the purpose of having gone through this? Balancing work and family has been a real challenge, but I think the most rewarding part.”

-         Randy Haykin

So it is possible, and rewarding, and extremely difficult. Knowing that at the beginning and having ethical guardrails in place can help.

I am excited to experience some of the entrepreneurial creativity spoken of and grateful to have my ethical guardrails already in place when it happens.

Resources
Recognizing and Shaping Opportunities, Teresa Amabile, Harvard Business Review

On the True Purpose of Business

There are so many reasons that people go into business for themselves. Once successful, they can be driven by the principle of profit maximization or the Law of Consecration. 

“Just because the world doesn’t factor in the power of God into business, doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.” 
--Elder Gay

If we follow the Law of Consecration we can use of our means to succor the needy and poor in spirit and truly make a difference in the world. “Business is about service and about rescue.” (Gay)

“Instead of grumbling about how a pharmaceutical company makes filthy money by charging unreasonable prices, why don’t we create our own companies and sell good quality medicine at profit-free prices or at prices with low profits? I think social-consciousness-driven entrepreneurs can be an effective force in the marketplace.”
 – Muhammad Yunus

Virtue and integrity in business are critical as shown through what the lack of it can do to companies, people, and nations. Think Enron, think the banking crisis, and think auto company bail out. Charles Handy in his HBR article What’s a Business For?, tells us that “Proforma earnings announcements by the top 100 NASDAQ companies in the first nine months of 2001 overstated actual audited profits by $100 billion,” and that “CEO’s in America earn more than 400 times the wages of their lowest-paid workers.” (Handy)

This lack of virtue and integrity is driving companies to profit on the backs of their workers and defrauding employees, clients, and the nation out of their life-saving and trust.

Handy goes on to tell us “the real purpose of a business . . . is not to make a profit, full stop. It is to make a profit so that the business can do something more or better. That “something” becomes the real justification for the business.”

Companies like Google and Microsoft have created foundations to help fight poverty and disease. This is the “something” that business is all about.

If CEO’s were to be rewarded with a share of the profit instead of stock options, they may be more interested in the truth of their numbers. Another solution to the problem is if companies would “measure success in terms of outcomes for others as well as for ourselves” (Handy).

It is my hope that I can choose the path of the law of consecration. Use my work in business to benefit others.

References
Entrepreneurship and Consecration, Elder Gay

Microlending: Toward a Poverty-Free World, Muhammad Yunus

What’s a Business For?, Charles Handy, Harvard Business Review

Of Company Culture and Loyalty to God

Jan Newman gave a speech on Loyalty to God and Family. He discussed how you can never compromise (crunch time) your loyalty to the Lord or your family; the Lord requires a willing heart and mind and our greatest legacy will be our family and the Lord.

“Never be too busy with work to accept a calling.”

He mentioned that when he was working on his company he served as a bishop and then a stake president. He gave the advice that having integrity and honesty will make you stick out like a sore thumb. People will want you!!

In the paper So You Want to be an Entrepreneur, The Acton Foundation lists three areas of knowledge which are critical for starting a successful business:

1.      In-depth knowledge of the competitive structure of an industry and a network of contacts within that industry;

2.      The skills to run the daily operations of a small, rapidly growing company; and

3.      The ability to raise money. 

Understanding daily operations is critical for entrepreneurs because they include many different issues: ". . . from accounting, production, organizational and administrative dilemmas to general business philosophy. All of these must be woven into a consistent set of principles and procedures. A disorganized accounting system or poor physical surroundings can likewise take a heavy toll on profits"

This stuck out to me:

"If the company culture is flawed, almost any strategy is in jeopardy."

Why did it stick out? Because I work in an office where some of these things are really broken. I have been working on trying to change many of the problems that we have on a recurring basis; however, I have come to the realization that the problem is the boss and he is not going to change.

I have experienced what flawed culture can do. It decreases morale, increases turnover, decreases customer satisfaction, and ultimately does take a heavy toll on profits. Turnover is expensive. Unhappy customers don’t give referrals. But what do you do when the cause of the problem is the owner who won’t change? You either leave or deal with it the best you can.

That is something I would like to learn; how to manage up and change a boss who is stuck in behaviors that, I worry, may run him out of business.

My Personal Constitution

Values

• I am temple worthy. I never do anything to jeopardize my temple recommend. I live my life in accordance with the guidelines to be in the temple.
• I love my family and know that they are the most important thing in my life. I maintain proper balance between work, hobbies and interests, and family, with an eternal perspective.
• I am generous and charitable with all that I have and I know that all I have is because of my Father in Heaven.
• I am service oriented and compassionate because I strive to live my life as the Savior lived his.
• I am financially self-reliant. My bills are paid. I am debt free. I have ample investments and savings to fund my life, retirement, hobbies and interests, service to God, and to give to my family. I work if I want too and work for enjoyment.

Long Term Goals

• I will remain temple worthy. I pay an honest tithe and a generous fast offering. I am honest in all my dealings. I sustain the prophet and apostles and love the Gospel. I am faithful to my covenants.
• I will always remember that family is more important than work or hobbies. I will take time away from non-essential things to spend time with family. I will build strong relationships with family members. I will love, serve, and honor my family. I will live in a way that brings honor to my name and family.
• I will do more than pay an honest tithe and a generous fast offering. I will give of my time, talents, and means to help those in need. I will follow the admonition in Alma 34:28 that my “prayer [will not be] vain.”
• I will serve others and show compassion toward them. I will live my life as the Savior lived.
• I will be financially self-reliant by age 60. I will have sufficient investments and savings that I will retire early, serve a mission, serve God, travel, remain generous with all that I have, and give to my family.

Short Term Goals

• I will read my scriptures consistently. I will be honest in all I do. I will be faithful to my covenants. I will keep a prayer in my heart to remain truthful.
• I will be available to help my family when they are in need. I will give extra time to be with my grandchildren. I will be the fun grandma.
• I will give service when asked and when I notice a need. I will give financial assistance if I can’t be there physically to help. I will pray for people in need and put names in the temple. I will finish purging all the stuff that I don’t need and donate it.
• I will be service oriented in my job to be a good employee/boss. I will be compassionate to those in need or who are in distress. I will give this without compromising my own mental or physical health.
• I will put 10% automatically into my tithing account. I will pay a generous fast offering when the deacons come so they can fulfill their priesthood duties. I will put 10% in my emergency fund and the use extra to pay off debts. I will finish my degree so I can earn more money to add to my retirement funds.  I will be wise and frugal in my purchases.

Daily Task List

• I will read my scriptures when I eat breakfast. I will pray morning and night. I will serve in my temple calling with a glad heart. I will attend church each week.
• I will give love, encouragement, and appreciation for the things my family members do each day. I will put my family before hobbies and down time.
• I will pray for opportunities to give and to serve others.
• I will think about my goals and how much stuff I have before I buy anything and ask “do I really need this?”
• I will seek out a way to do exercise that my body can handle and that won’t take too much time from my already busy schedule – because nothing else matters if I am dead or too unhealthy to enjoy life.

Of Honesty and Business Ethics

This week we were discussing Honesty and Business Ethics. We read a speech given by Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the Seventy titled Making a Living and a Life. I read this in a previous class and it made a huge impact on me. Elder Robbins discusses the types of businesses we should aim for and the type of employee we should strive to be. These were rated on a scale from A to F. 

Grade	Primary Motivation	Secondary Motivation
A	Love of God and fellowmen	Income  $
B	Money  $	Love of fellowmen
C	Love of money  $	Indifferent to customers
D	Filthy Lucre   $	Harmful to customers
F	Filthy Lucre	Harmful to customers and to society, nations destroyed.

Satan uses money and wealth as a powerful way to tempt us to believe that “this world is our destiny and that anything and everything in this world is available for money.” We were sent to this earth to work and make a living, not just to survive, but thrive, and to see if we would be honest among our fellowmen.

Satan quickly recognized the work environment as a strategic setting to stir up all manner of sin, including covetousness, jealousies, self-indulgence, living beyond one’s means, anger, contention in marriages, infidelity, greed and envy, selfishness, even theft and murder.

One of his examples was the difference between George Bailey and Mr. Potter in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. One was working for the love of his fellowmen; one was working for the love of money.

I am a loyal employee; sometimes loyal to a fault. One thing I have learned so far in this course is that it is OK to move on. There are times when you have to move on because the opportunity for growth, learning, and advancement is gone. I am at that point. I need to move on because I am stagnating where I am. My goal is to seek for Grade A company to work for where I can learn and grow and get on my way to becoming what my Father in Heaven wants me to be.

Reference:

Robbins, L. G. (2010, October 12). Brigham Young University-Idaho Devotional. Retrieved from BYUI.edu: http://www2.byui.edu/Presentations/Transcripts/Devotionals/2010_10_12_Robbins.htm