How do you Abstain from Food?

The first Action Step of Step 1: Honesty is "Become Willing to Abstain." 

"People say individuals finally become willing to abstain when the pain of the problem becomes worse than the pain of the solution."[1]

How do you abstain from food? 

To find this out I had to go to the fount of all knowledge, Google. I learned that with food you “abstain from the behavior.” Easier said than done. If I could abstain from the compulsive eating behavior, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. I guess this is where completely surrendering to God comes in. I can’t do it on my own. I am no good on my own. But with His help, I can do it.

It is also important to have a Food Plan. I like the idea of a “plan” instead of a diet. The thought of having pre-planned, weighed and measured meals is not only stressful and depressing; it makes me want to poke an eye out. I guess I don’t do well when I feel my agency being taken away!

On the FoodAddiction.com website, I found a food plan that clicked with me and which I modified just a bit. 301: 3 meals a day, 0 snacks, 1 day at a time. The one day at a time really spoke to me. Looking at this as a complete life overhaul is very overwhelming. I can do one day at a time. The modification I made takes it to:

321: 3 meals a day, 2 healthy snacks, 1 day at a time.

I guess it has been somewhat fortuitous in the timing of all this. I have been really sick for the past several weeks to the point where I have actually taken a leave from my temple assignment. I have been missing work and church, pretty much staying really friendly with “the lou.” Because of this, I have decided to go on an elimination diet to try and calm my body down and figure out what the problem is.

In 2010 I went on the HCG diet, minus the HCG injections, and the first two weeks I did an elimination diet. It was basically two eggs for breakfast cooked in real butter, two oranges for mid-meal snacks, and all the lean protein meats and raw green vegetables I want. I could use spices and olive oil on salad. That was doable. I had very strict guidelines but didn’t have to measure or weigh anything. After the two weeks, you could add in other things, just no dairy or grains. I lost about 85 lbs. on that diet. Unfortunately, whilst unemployed over the summer, my daughters and I did a lot of baking. My old eating habits returned and over the course of the next several years, I have gained most of that weight back.

Combining the 321 with that elimination diet is something I can do.

I am trying to be more “mindful” of when and what I am eating. 

I am trying to make better choices in food selection. 

I am trying to not eat food between meals, other than my planned snacks. 

This is something that I struggle with. Food is a stress coping mechanism. I have to be extremely aware and work at doing something else.

I am trying to not weigh myself. 

I don’t want this change to be about how much or how fast I can lose. I am trying to make this about changing my heart and soul, changing my life, feeling better, and being healthier.

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[1] "Step 1: Honesty." The 12 Steps. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, n.d. Web. 23 June 2016.

Of Sowing and Reaping

 Randy Komisar, in talking about life/career balance said this:

“Never put yourself in a situation where you can’t say no.”

One of the key factors to being able to say no is to be financially self-reliant (Komisar). If you aren’t drowning in debt it will be easier to say no to job offers that may compromise your ethical guardrails.

In his talk Attitude on Money, Stephen W. Gibson reminds us that money is not evil, that it is neither good nor bad, and that it reveals the kind of person we are. It may be the way in which we use our money that may be evil. (Gibson)

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:10

President Thomas S. Monson, in his address Formula for Success states that “we have the responsibility to be prepared, to be productive, to be faithful, and to be fruitful as well.” His suggested formula for success is three fold:

First – Fill your mind with truth

Second – Fill your life with service

Third – Fill your heart with love

His statement on how to treat the precious commodity of our testimonies is a great analogy for life, business, money etc. “Remember, a testimony is perishable. That which you selfishly keep, you lose; that which you willingly share, you keep” (Monson).

Fear not to do good . . . for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward. D&C 6:33

This brings me to the question of “What is your attitude toward money?”

I believe in a form of karma in the sense of President Monson’s testimony statement and the scripture above. I believe if we are selfish with our money we close down opportunities to grow and gain. If we give of the abundance we have, it will come back to us.  I am trying to more fully live this way.

How can your view of money affect the way you live? If you are selfish with the abundance you have, you limit your ability to help others and the potential blessings that God has in store for you. You also limit your potential salvation. We are commanded to help the widow, the hungry, and downtrodden.

And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things (pray for temporal and spiritual blessings), if ye turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your prayer is vain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as hypocrites who do deny the faith. Alma 34:28

What rules are recommended for prospering? In addition to the three listed above by President Monson, we are given these in Attitude on Money:

1. Seek the Lord and have hope in him.
2. Keep the commandments, [this] includes the temporal ones, tithing and fast offerings.
3. Think about money and plan how you can become self-reliant.
4. Take advantage of chances for learning so you will not be ignorant of these matters. Education, as President Hinckley has taught us, is the Key to Opportunity.
5. Learn the laws upon which the blessings of wealth are predicated.
6. Do not send away the naked, the hungry, the thirsty or the sick or those who are held captive.

These are my goals. I hope that I can truly learn these, not just intellectually but wholeheartedly, to incorporate them into my very being.





References:
Formula for Success, Thomas S. Monson, Ensign Mar. 1996
Attitude on Money, Stephen W. Gibson

On Becoming Great

To become a disciple-leader is to “lead as Christ leads. It is leadership with a small “L” – the kind of leadership that builds and lifts and inspires through kindness and love and unselfish devotion to the Lord and His work.”[i]

I try to be this type of leader. It is my hope to truly learn to become this way.

A true leader is a person who takes others to a higher ground.

-          Jim Ritchie

One of the greatest abilities to have, in a world full of “average,” is the “ability to execute [and it] is more valuable than education or talent, because it is far rarer.” [ii]

If you want to become the kind of person who others call when something needs to get done, learn how to get the job done. Doing this, without requiring explicit step by step instructions, assembling a task force or consultants, or complaining that something “isn’t your job,” will help you become just such a person.

No matter what has happened in your life, “Make no mistake about it. You have a choice. You can blame your parents, teachers, coaches or bosses. Or you can choose to start developing the attitudes, habits and instincts so your name will be called when success hangs in the balance.” [iii]

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but those most adaptive to change.

-          Charles Darwin

Carly Fiorina stated that the capability to ask a question and hear an answer is crucial. Customer satisfaction is a vital leading indicator of how a company is doing. Customers always know what is wrong with a company.[iv]

Innovation, the ability to take risks, and the ability to celebrate new ideas are also leading indicators. [v]

Keep learning – learn something every day.

-          Carly Fiorina

Since going back to school, I remember how much I love learning. It is my goal to always keep learning!

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[i] Leadership with a Small L. Kim B. Clark

[ii] Message to Garcia. Acton Foundation for Entrepreneurial Excellence

[iii] (ibid)

[iv] Leadership & Capability. Carly Fiorina

[v]  (ibid)

Of Habits and Understanding

This week we discussed Dr. Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The seven habits are:

1.      Be proactive

a.       Take charge. Act instead of be acted upon. Take responsibility.

2.      Begin with the end in mind

a.       Have an end goal then live in a way that will take you there.

3.      Put first things first

a.       Prioritize. Stay in the “Important and Non-Urgent” quadrant.

“Management is doing things right, leadership is doing the right things.”

-          Peter Drucker & Warren Bennis

4.      Think win/win

a.       Seek mutual benefit for each party, not just yourself.

5.      Seek first to understand, then to be understood

a.       Listen to understand, not to respond. Empathy.

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

-          Goethe

6.      Synergize

a.       The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 1+1= anything greater than 2.

7.      Sharpen the saw

a.       Don’t be so busy sawing that you don’t notice your saw is dull. Renewal.

Two concepts that really stood out to me were Habits 5 and 7.

Communication is vital in relationships and work life. Most people, when they listen to another person – aren’t listening to understand - they are listening to determine how to respond. They are more concerned with their part in the conversation than they are in what the person is actually saying.

“The key to good judgment is understanding. If we judge first, we will never fully understand.”

The first item listed in sharpening the saw is physical exercise. This is something I need to do. I am caught in the endless cycle of being too tired to get up an hour earlier to exercise; however, if I don’t, my health won’t carry me to what I want to accomplish in life. I feel like I am doing pretty well with the other three items: spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.

I look forward to experiencing what Dr. Covey states will come from 30 minutes of daily exercise: improved quality of the remaining hours every day, preserved and enhanced capacity to work and adapt and enjoy, and a paradigm shift of my own self-image.

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier – not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased.”

-          Emerson

Of Company Culture and Loyalty to God

Jan Newman gave a speech on Loyalty to God and Family. He discussed how you can never compromise (crunch time) your loyalty to the Lord or your family; the Lord requires a willing heart and mind and our greatest legacy will be our family and the Lord.

“Never be too busy with work to accept a calling.”

He mentioned that when he was working on his company he served as a bishop and then a stake president. He gave the advice that having integrity and honesty will make you stick out like a sore thumb. People will want you!!

In the paper So You Want to be an Entrepreneur, The Acton Foundation lists three areas of knowledge which are critical for starting a successful business:

1.      In-depth knowledge of the competitive structure of an industry and a network of contacts within that industry;

2.      The skills to run the daily operations of a small, rapidly growing company; and

3.      The ability to raise money. 

Understanding daily operations is critical for entrepreneurs because they include many different issues: ". . . from accounting, production, organizational and administrative dilemmas to general business philosophy. All of these must be woven into a consistent set of principles and procedures. A disorganized accounting system or poor physical surroundings can likewise take a heavy toll on profits"

This stuck out to me:

"If the company culture is flawed, almost any strategy is in jeopardy."

Why did it stick out? Because I work in an office where some of these things are really broken. I have been working on trying to change many of the problems that we have on a recurring basis; however, I have come to the realization that the problem is the boss and he is not going to change.

I have experienced what flawed culture can do. It decreases morale, increases turnover, decreases customer satisfaction, and ultimately does take a heavy toll on profits. Turnover is expensive. Unhappy customers don’t give referrals. But what do you do when the cause of the problem is the owner who won’t change? You either leave or deal with it the best you can.

That is something I would like to learn; how to manage up and change a boss who is stuck in behaviors that, I worry, may run him out of business.

Of Measurements and Repetition

This week we read How Will You Measure Your Life? by Professor Clayton M. Christensen of the Harvard Business School (HBS). It was published in the Harvard Business Review in 2010. His class at HBS is structured to “help [his] students understand what good management theory is and how it is built.” On the last day of class he asks his students to answer three questions:

1. How can I be sure that I’ll be happy in my career?
2. How can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and family become and enduring source of happiness?
3. How can I be sure I’ll stay out of jail?

He isn’t flippant about question three. Two of the 32 people in his Rhodes Scholar class at HBS spent time in jail. Jeff Skilling of Enron fame was his classmate. He said “these were the good guys – but something in their lives sent them off in the wrong direction.”

He teaches that the “powerful motivator in our lives isn’t money; it’s the opportunity to learn, grow in responsibilities, contribute to others, and be recognized for achievements,” which brought him to this conclusion: 

Management is the most noble of professions if it’s practiced well. No other occupation offers as many ways to help others learn and grow, take responsibility and be recognized for achievement, and contribute to the success of a team.

What do we learn about going off in the wrong direction? “Allocation choices can make your life turn out to be very different from what you intended.” If we don’t spend our time doing what we want to become, we will become what we spend our time doing.

Speaking to question 3 he states: “justification for infidelity and dishonesty in all their manifestations lies in the marginal cost economics of ‘just this once.’” He gives an example of his college basketball days when his resolve to never play on Sunday was tested. He was pressured by coaches and players alike. He remained strong and didn’t play. After that experience he learned it was one of the most important decisions of his life. Why?

My life has been one unending stream of extenuating circumstances. Had I crossed the line that one time, I would have done it over and over in the years that followed. The lesson I learned from this is that it’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time.

So where does Repetition come in? I read both this and another speech this week, in a previous class. I was thinking to myself “someone really didn’t plan these courses well because they are duplicating the reading.” 

Tuesday was devotional and Elder David A. Bednar spoke. His focus was on repetition. His example was the repetition in visits and message from Moroni to the young Joseph Smith. “This repetitious teaching was intended to emphasize the deep significance of the things that had been communicated.” He then pointed out that even though the message was the same each time, it was different because new information was given with each succeeding visitation. 

BAM! Palm to the forehead moment for me! The information I had read in a previous class was so important, it was presented to me again, however this time it was given with additional information.

Lesson Learned: Stick to your principles all the time. Don’t give in to the “just once won’t hurt” lie.

References:

Clayton M. Christensen, How Will You Measure Your Life?  Harvard Business Review, 2010

David A. Bednar, Repeat Over Again . . the Same Things as Before, BYU-Idaho Speech, January 2016

My Personal Constitution

Values

• I am temple worthy. I never do anything to jeopardize my temple recommend. I live my life in accordance with the guidelines to be in the temple.
• I love my family and know that they are the most important thing in my life. I maintain proper balance between work, hobbies and interests, and family, with an eternal perspective.
• I am generous and charitable with all that I have and I know that all I have is because of my Father in Heaven.
• I am service oriented and compassionate because I strive to live my life as the Savior lived his.
• I am financially self-reliant. My bills are paid. I am debt free. I have ample investments and savings to fund my life, retirement, hobbies and interests, service to God, and to give to my family. I work if I want too and work for enjoyment.

Long Term Goals

• I will remain temple worthy. I pay an honest tithe and a generous fast offering. I am honest in all my dealings. I sustain the prophet and apostles and love the Gospel. I am faithful to my covenants.
• I will always remember that family is more important than work or hobbies. I will take time away from non-essential things to spend time with family. I will build strong relationships with family members. I will love, serve, and honor my family. I will live in a way that brings honor to my name and family.
• I will do more than pay an honest tithe and a generous fast offering. I will give of my time, talents, and means to help those in need. I will follow the admonition in Alma 34:28 that my “prayer [will not be] vain.”
• I will serve others and show compassion toward them. I will live my life as the Savior lived.
• I will be financially self-reliant by age 60. I will have sufficient investments and savings that I will retire early, serve a mission, serve God, travel, remain generous with all that I have, and give to my family.

Short Term Goals

• I will read my scriptures consistently. I will be honest in all I do. I will be faithful to my covenants. I will keep a prayer in my heart to remain truthful.
• I will be available to help my family when they are in need. I will give extra time to be with my grandchildren. I will be the fun grandma.
• I will give service when asked and when I notice a need. I will give financial assistance if I can’t be there physically to help. I will pray for people in need and put names in the temple. I will finish purging all the stuff that I don’t need and donate it.
• I will be service oriented in my job to be a good employee/boss. I will be compassionate to those in need or who are in distress. I will give this without compromising my own mental or physical health.
• I will put 10% automatically into my tithing account. I will pay a generous fast offering when the deacons come so they can fulfill their priesthood duties. I will put 10% in my emergency fund and the use extra to pay off debts. I will finish my degree so I can earn more money to add to my retirement funds.  I will be wise and frugal in my purchases.

Daily Task List

• I will read my scriptures when I eat breakfast. I will pray morning and night. I will serve in my temple calling with a glad heart. I will attend church each week.
• I will give love, encouragement, and appreciation for the things my family members do each day. I will put my family before hobbies and down time.
• I will pray for opportunities to give and to serve others.
• I will think about my goals and how much stuff I have before I buy anything and ask “do I really need this?”
• I will seek out a way to do exercise that my body can handle and that won’t take too much time from my already busy schedule – because nothing else matters if I am dead or too unhealthy to enjoy life.

Learning to be an Entrepreneur

I have never thought of myself as an entrepreneur. I have often wished I was. Wouldn't it be amazing to come up with the next "it" item, the software that makes everyone's life easier, or a time-saving gadget that everyone is clamoring to buy?

In studying business, it seems that even if you aren't an entrepreneur, you need to learn to think like one, because business today can turn on a dime. When someone else comes up with that next "it" item, your world could change in an instant.

So, here I am, studying entrepreneurship.

I will be discovering my entrepreneurial "calling." Learning and developing constructive habits. Selecting my next "stepping stone job." Embracing Disciple Leadership. And, journalling my discoveries along the way.

Here we go!