The Purpose of Prophets: Case Study

Case Study: (in summation) Courtney walked out of Relief Society class after discussion from The Family: A Proclamation to the World and comments that children are best served when raised in a home with a mother and a father. It turns out that Courtney had a best friend growing up who was raised by two lesbians. She later texted Mariah "I believe, in God's eyes, love and kindness is what it's all about, not someone's sexuality. The church has a way to go, but I know that same-sex parenting is not wrong." The names were changed, but this was a real situation at BYU-Idaho.

We were asked how Mariah could reach out to Courtney.

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This is a very difficult situation.

My daughter has left the church. She identifies as pansexual, meaning that she isn’t limited by gender as to whom she may be attracted. Many of her friends are gay. Some of them also come from Mormon families.

One of the things that my daughter struggled with is that she can’t believe in a God who would make people feel this way and then not allow them to be married. She believes that if a person is gay, their spirit is gay – so my belief that all will be made right in the heavens doesn’t hold any weight to her.

She loves these people and can’t imagine that they are horrible, sinful, evil people, just because they want to have a loving relationship with someone of the same sex.

What I have come to learn is that you cannot change someone’s opinion about this. All we can do is love them.

As Elder Oaks states in As He Thinketh in His Heart, “I suggest that it may be preferable for our young people to refrain from arguing with their associates about such assertions or proposals.”

As to Mariah’s dilemma, she should approach Courtney with love and caring. Perhaps focusing on some of the following:

• We are all God’s children. God loves us all, no matter who we are or what we do. We know that families are central to the plan of happiness and that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.
• We don’t understand why some people have same gender attraction. Nephi said: “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Ne. 11:17).
• While it may be true that her friend was brought up well in a same-sex parent home, that isn’t the standard that God wants us to strive for and isn’t the manner in which the heavens are ordered.
• Mostly Mariah should try to love and understand the feelings that Courtney is struggling with and remind her of her true identity and worth as a daughter of God.

Of Creativity and Priorities

Harvard Business School professor, Teresa Amabile, has an interesting take on creativity. In her research, discussed in her HBR article Recognizing and Shaping Opportunities, she has come to the conclusion that creativity is made up of three intersecting components: Expertise, Motivation, and Creative-Thinking Skills.

Expertise includes experiences, education, and knowledge.

Motivation refers to both internal passion and interests, and to external rewards.

Creative-thinking skills include the way people approach and solve problems and put existing ideas together in new combinations.

Amabile says that these three components help frame how entrepreneurs recognize opportunities.

This was exciting to me because the main reason I have felt I’m NOT an entrepreneur is that I don’t have ideas. The concept that I can use my expertise, internal passions, and problem solving abilities to recognize opportunities, is exciting. There is hope for me yet!

Something that really stood out to me this week was the case study we read of Randy Haykin, in which he discusses the difficulty of being an entrepreneur and having quality time for your family. Haykin said that mentors (plural, so more than one person) told him that “it is impossible to start a company and have a family that still loves you in the process.” That is kind of a bleak outlook. 

“I always felt that if all success means is an unhappy family or a divorce situation or kids that can’t relate to you, then what is the purpose of having gone through this? Balancing work and family has been a real challenge, but I think the most rewarding part.”

-         Randy Haykin

So it is possible, and rewarding, and extremely difficult. Knowing that at the beginning and having ethical guardrails in place can help.

I am excited to experience some of the entrepreneurial creativity spoken of and grateful to have my ethical guardrails already in place when it happens.

Resources
Recognizing and Shaping Opportunities, Teresa Amabile, Harvard Business Review

Reflections

We read a case study of a woman named Magdalena Yesil. She was an entrepreneur turned venture capitalist. She was instrumental in getting internet payment systems going and internet to the colleges and the masses.

The thing that really spoke to me as I read about Magdalena, was her firm belief that gender was irrelevant to accomplishment. This is amazing to me considering that she was from Turkey, which is an incredibly patriarchal society—even still today, much less growing up in the sixties. This belief would have served her well when she went from an all-girls school to a technical institute, of which 94% were men. The field she chose, Engineering, is a heavily dominated industry today. She would have been an anomaly in the seventies and eighties.

Why this really speaks to me is that I believe you can change the word “gender” to any word that fits your situation.

 “_________ is irrelevant to accomplishment.”

For me, turning 48 next month, “age” will be one word I put in there. Age is irrelevant to accomplishment. Who cares if I will be 51 when I graduate! I will still do it. Maybe I will go on for an MBA. I will be 53 by the time that happens. This still leaves me with 12 – 15 good years of working before retirement.

Would it have been better if I had gotten my degree in my twenties? Sure. But today is better than never.