We were asked how Mariah could reach out to Courtney.
This is a very difficult situation.
My daughter has left the church. She identifies as pansexual, meaning that she isn’t limited by gender as to whom she may be attracted. Many of her friends are gay. Some of them also come from Mormon families.
One of the things that my daughter struggled with is that she can’t believe in a God who would make people feel this way and then not allow them to be married. She believes that if a person is gay, their spirit is gay – so my belief that all will be made right in the heavens doesn’t hold any weight to her.
She loves these people and can’t imagine that they are horrible, sinful, evil people, just because they want to have a loving relationship with someone of the same sex.
What I have come to learn is that you cannot change someone’s opinion about this. All we can do is love them.
As Elder Oaks states in As He Thinketh in His Heart, “I suggest that it may be preferable for our young people to refrain from arguing with their associates about such assertions or proposals.”
As to Mariah’s dilemma, she should approach Courtney with love and caring. Perhaps focusing on some of the following:
- We are all God’s children. God loves us all, no matter who we are or what we do. We know that families are central to the plan of happiness and that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.
- We don’t understand why some people have same gender attraction. Nephi said: “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Ne. 11:17).
- While it may be true that her friend was brought up well in a same-sex parent home, that isn’t the standard that God wants us to strive for and isn’t the manner in which the heavens are ordered.
- Mostly Mariah should try to love and understand the feelings that Courtney is struggling with and remind her of her true identity and worth as a daughter of God.