Abigail - Woman of Wisdom and Strength

I previously wrote about how uncommon it was for women to be mentioned in the scriptures. I am finding more instances of women than I thought there were.

The Old Testament has many amazing examples of strong, courageous, and virtuous women. In 1 Samuel 25, David sent ten of his men to Nabal, (David had previously shown his herdsmen and servants protection and good will) asking for provisions; Nabal was very rude and refused.

David was so put out by this he determined to kill Nabal and all in his household; however, when Nabal’s wife, Abigail, heard what happened she took matters into her own hands.

18 ¶ Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.

Here, she is being very proactive.

19 And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal.

And did this all on her own.

23 And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground,

…

25 Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.

27 And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord.

Here we see the power of a good, strong, and virtuous woman. David was on the way to kill Nabal and everyone in the household. Abigail proactively went to meet David and asked forgiveness of him for what her husband had done, took food and offerings to him and his men, and smoothed everything over.

Proverbs 31:10 surely is shown here:

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Just a bit later we see one of the great examples of “what goes around comes around” in the scriptures.

36 ¶ And Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light.

37 But it came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone.

38 And it came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died.

It gets better!

39 ¶ And when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the Lord, that hath pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and hath kept his servant from evil: for the Lord hath returned the wickedness of Nabal upon his own head. And David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife.

In the end, Nabal was struck dead and Abigail marries the king. Sounds almost like a fairy tale.

Rahab, Woman of Faith

Joshua 2

It isn't common to hear women mentioned in the scriptures, much less have stories told about them. Here is a story of a woman of faith, Rahab. Jacob sends in two spies to determine if they can take the city. Jericho is terrified of the Israelites and their God; their legend precedes them--and Rahab gives them refuge.

She asks for a “true token” (vs 12) that the Israelites will spare her family when they come to destroy Jericho, because of the kindness she has given these two spies. There are similarities in this token with what was required of the children of Israel to ward off the angel of death in Egypt.

Joshua 2:18-19

Rahab	Children of Israel
Bind the line of scarlet thread in the window	Paint blood on lintels and posts of doors
Bring thy father, and thy mother, and thy brethren, and all thy father’s household, home unto thee	Stay inside but be prepared to leave, the angel of death will pass over
Whosoever shall go out of the doors of thy house into the street, his blood shall be upon his head	Those who didn’t follow the instructions, wouldn’t be spared.

We know that Rahab and her family followed these instructions and that Joshua held up the part of the token made by the two spies. We read about this in Joshua 6.

17 ¶ And the city shall be accursed, even it, and all that are therein, to the Lord: only Rahab the harlot shall live, she and all that are with her in the house, because she hid the messengers that we sent.

…

21 And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword.

  22 But Joshua had said unto the two men that had spied out the country, Go into the harlot’s house, and bring out thence the woman, and all that she hath, as ye sware unto her.

  23 And the young men that were spies went in, and brought out Rahab, and her father, and her mother, and her brethren, and all that she had; and they brought out all her kindred, and left them without the camp of Israel.

…

  25 And Joshua saved Rahab the harlot alive, and her father’s household, and all that she had; and she dwelleth in Israel even unto this day; because she hid the messengers, which Joshua sent to spy out Jericho.

Not only did he spare Rahab and her family, Joshua spared “all that she had.” This, to me, is a type of mercy the Lord has.

By being a woman of faith who believed in God, Rahab was able to save her family and “all that she had.” Her city faced utter destruction and she found the way to make it through. This is a powerful witness to us as we are living in the latter-days.

Beguile - The Deeper Meaning

In Moses we read of Satan seeking to beguile Eve, “for he knew not the mind of God.”[1] Satan wanted to destroy agency from the get-go by forcing everyone to return to Heaven and receiving the glory of not losing any of God’s children. We know how that ended.

Then we read “it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men.”[2] Here is Satan, trying to undermine God’s plan, but actually playing into it because he didn’t know the mind of God.

I pondered the word beguile. Most people say it means deceived or fooled. I have this note in my scriptures: Beguiled is an ancient Hebrew word not commonly used. Satan gave her a complex scenario. Eve had a decision to make.

I found an article wherein a Hebrew scholar, Dr. Nehama Aschkenasy, told the writer that the Hebrew word interpreted as "beguiled" is a “rare verb form of unusual depth and richness … no longer in use, [and] almost impossible to translate. ‘It is safe to say that it indicates an intense multi-level experience which evokes great emotional, psychological and/or spiritual trauma’ … and ‘makes it clear that Eve was motivated by a complex set of inner drives, anchored not only in her physical but also in her intellectual and spiritual nature.’ … She further suggests that because of this intense multi-level experience, Eve is caused to step back, reevaluate, reassess, and ponder the tree of knowledge of good and evil.”[3]

Those who attend the temple experience this view of Eve. We are blessed to know that she was a woman of great courage and spiritual insight which allowed her to make the choice she had to make.

---

[1] Moses 4:6 And Satan put it into the heart of the serpent, (for he had drawn away many after him,) and he sought also to beguile Eve, for he knew not the mind of God, wherefore he sought to destroy the world.

[2] D&C 29:39 And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet—

[3] Beverly Campbell, Mother Eve Mentor ForToday’s Woman: A Heritage of Honor, April 2, 1993, 11th annual conference of Collegium Aesculapium in Salt Lake City, Utah 

Divine Nature

While studying in Matthew tonight, I was trying to find a quote in some old lessons I taught while I was Relief Society President. I read this lesson on Divine Nature and realized it was something I needed to read for myself.

It struck such a chord with me, I wanted to share it, to remind all the amazing women I know that we are wonderful and amazing, and we need to learn to love ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to each other.

It is kind of long but filled with a great message. It is amazing what the Lord can inspire you to put together. I hope you can stick it out to the end!

Divine Nature

While trying to prepare this lesson I decided it is much easier to write a talk than write a lesson from scratch.  I know what I want to convey to you but how do I put it into words.  How do I ask questions that will engage you?  How do I get the feelings of my heart to be expressed in a way that will resonate with you?  I am hoping that divine intervention and inspiration will attend me today because I haven’t been able to put this together as cohesively and thoroughly as I would have liked.

There are a lot of good quotes that totally convey what I want to cover.  I could just read conference talks to you and have the message given more eloquently and by more knowledgeable people than me.  What is it that I can offer to this lesson, to this group of women?  The only thing I can think of is my understanding and experience with what I want to talk about.

As women, we are hard on ourselves.  We expect ourselves to be perfect, to be everything to everyone, and impose almost impossible standards onto ourselves.  We look at women we see at church (represented by the woman in this statue); knowing what we look like when we wake up in the morning, how messy our house gets, that we are grumpy or lose patience with our kids; and think of ourselves and this unattractive gray rock.

We then compare ourselves to others and we usually come out on the bad end.  Why do we compare ourselves?

·         Life is hard

·         Depression

·         incorrect perspective

·         We don’t have all the facts.

What can happen when we compare ourselves to others?

·         We judge others

·         we feel bad about ourselves

·         we create an opening for Satan’s influence

·          possibly lose our Heavenly Father’s spirit

Example:

If I were me, sitting out there, looking up at the RS Pres. giving a lesson on divine nature or individual worth, I would think to myself “yeah, easy for her to say, she has it all together.”

I know it is very easy to feel like this rock. 

I don’t have it all together.  I know what I look like in the morning.  I struggle with my weight. I have dealt with depression for many years. I know that at 43 I still get pimples.  I know that I struggle with scripture reading.  I know that when we tell our kids we want to start having family home evening they ask "Why bother? Because it never works."

Now that you are wondering “why” they put “her” in as RSP? I ask:

How then, when I know all of these unattractive gray rock things about myself, am I expected to feel like this beautiful white statue;  full of individual worth and divine nature?

Is it possible that when we are comparing ourselves to others we are really asking “who am I?”

If that is the case, then we need to know our identity.

Knowing our identity:

Julie B. Beck, Pres, Conf 2007

Knowing and defending the divine roles of women is so important in a world where women are bombarded with false messages about their identity. Popular media figures on the radio and television set themselves up as authorities and spokespersons for women. While these media messages may contain elements of truth, most preach a gospel of individual fulfillment and self-worship, often misleading women regarding their true identity and worth. These voices offer a counterfeit happiness, and as a result, many women are miserable, lonely, and confused.

The only place Latter-day Saint women will learn the whole and complete truth about their indispensable role in the plan of happiness is in this Church and its doctrine. We know that in the great premortal conflict we sided with our Savior, Jesus Christ, to preserve our potential to belong to eternal families. We know we are daughters of God, and we know what we are to do. Women find true happiness when they understand and delight in their unique role within the plan of salvation. The things women can and should do very best are championed and taught without apology here. We believe in the formation of eternal families. That means we believe in getting married. We know that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. That means we believe in having children. We have faith that with the Lord’s help we can be successful in rearing and teaching children. These are vital responsibilities in the plan of happiness, and when women embrace those roles with all their hearts, they are happy!

President Gordon B. Hinckley said:

“You are second to none. You are daughters of God.

“There has come to you as your birthright something beautiful and sacred and divine. Never forget that. Your Eternal Father is the great Master of the universe. He rules over all, but He also will listen to your prayers as His daughter and hear you as you speak with Him. He will answer your prayers. He will not leave you alone” (“Stay on the High Road,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2004, 112).

How can we know our identity?

How can we learn our identity and understand the divinely appointed mission the Lord has for us?

·         a parent or a leader

·         patriarchal blessings

·         Prayer

·         serving others

·         attend your church meetings

Patriarchal Blessing:

Pres. Monson, Nov 1986

Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. It may be brief or lengthy, simple or profound. Length and language do not a patriarchal blessing make. It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning. Your blessing is not to be folded neatly and tucked away. It is not to be framed or published. Rather, it is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed. Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night.

Prayer:

Richard G. Scott, conf 2000

Let us encourage every woman who questions her value to turn to her Heavenly Father and His glorified Son for a supernal confirmation of her immense individual worth. I testify that as each woman seeks it in faith and obedience, the Savior will continually prompt her through the Holy Ghost. That guidance will lead her to fulfillment, peace, and a consuming joy through magnifying her divinely appointed, sacred womanhood.

Service:

James E. Faust  Conf. 2009

Serving others can begin at almost any age. Often the greatest service to others is one-on-one. It need not be on a grand scale, and it is noblest within the family.

Attend Church:

Susan W. Tanner, Young Women General President, Conf 2007

All over the world and in almost every language, young women ages 12 to 18 declare the same thing: “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.”  Yet as they grow up, they often grow away from the confident knowledge . . . that they are very special. Youth often experience an identity crisis, wondering who they really are. The teenage years are also a time of what I describe as “identity theft,” meaning that worldly ideas, philosophies, and deceits confuse us, buffet us, and seek to rob us of the knowledge of our true identity.

One very good young woman said to me, “Sometimes I am not sure who I am. I don’t feel Heavenly Father’s love. My life seems hard. Things are not turning out the way I wanted, hoped, and dreamed they would.” What I said to her I now say to young women everywhere: I know unequivocally that you are a daughter of God. He knows you, He loves you, and He has a plan for you.

This is spoken to the Young Women but I share it with you because it applies to us equally.  We are going to start having the Laurels come into RS on the 4^th Sunday.  We will be joining them in standing and saying the YW Theme.  I love the YW theme.  I love that daughters of God all over the world are standing and saying “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.”  

I enjoyed being a part of that while serving in YW and I want you to be able to feel of that as well.

What can we do when we feel bad about ourselves?

Ok, great.  We all know this but how does this help me when I am stuck at home with a sick baby, a whiny toddler or a know-it-all teenager; if I am in the throes of depression; if I don’t have the emotional where-with-all to face a crowd at church; if I have a mountain of laundry to do, bills to pay, and meals to prepare?

Gray rock time:  I have had days where I haven’t come to church because I didn’t feel like I could be cheerful enough to be here.  Being in the midst of people who “have it all together” was too much.  I also struggle with temple attendance.  It causes anxiety in me. I am so afraid that I am going to do or say something wrong, that everyone will be looking at me or waiting on me, that I am a ball of anxiety and nerves. That makes it very hard for me to want to experience. It is something I am working on.

What can we do when we feel bad about ourselves?

·         Call a friend or a spouse

·         Pray

·         listen to good music

·         take a nap

·         go to the temple

·         read good books

·         take a walk

·         list our blessings

·         read your patriarchal blessing

·         serve others

James E. Faust  Conf. 2009

I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the “highest place of honor” in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.

One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others.

Silvia H. Allred, First Counselor, RS Pres, Conf 2009

I have witnessed the same miracle in the lives of many women in different parts of the world. They embrace the gospel, and Relief Society helps them strengthen their faith and grow spiritually by giving them leadership and teaching opportunities. In their service, a new dimension is added to their lives. As they progress spiritually, their sense of belonging, identity, and self-worth increases. They realize that the whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for us to reach our fullest potential. 

C. S. Lewis wisely said: “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. … There are no ordinary people. … Your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses” (“The Weight of Glory,” in Screwtape Proposes a Toast and Other Pieces [1974], 109–10).

Gray rock time:  When I was going to counseling for depression several years ago, I had a counselor tell me that I should lower my standards.  Well, that just made me mad.  I thought “Why should I have to lower my standards!  Why shouldn’t my family have to raise theirs”!

It took a different therapist, to explain it to me in a different way, to understand his meaning.  I have to decide what really matters.  Will my children turn out horribly if there is dust on top of the fridge or dust bunnies under the sofa?  Will my eternal salvation be in jeopardy if the dishes don’t get done today?

We don’t have to do it all and we certainly don’t have to do it all TODAY!

We need to have some down time, some personal time, some me time.  I love the analogy of the bank account. (You have to make deposits before you can make withdrawals.)

Richard G. Scott, conf 2000

President Hinckley has eloquently captured what the Lord has repeatedly inspired His servants to say of His precious daughters:

“Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.

“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.” ¹

True Identity Realized!

What happens when we realize our true identity?  When we stop comparing ourselves to each other and learn to love the wonderful things about us?

OPEN ROCK

We realize that we are beautiful in our own way.  This geode is beautiful in its own way.  It doesn’t diminish the beauty of this statue; the statue doesn’t diminish the beauty of the geode.

Be the best YOU!

The Lord said: “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; … for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

This is our hope for you, as your presidency, that we can all realize that we are wonderful, beautiful, talented women.

Value of Women

While studying the second paragraph of The Family: A Proclamation to the World,

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

I looked up a few scriptures which I felt applied to its teachings.

 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

Proverbs 31:10

This speaks to the value the Savior puts upon women. They don’t have to become like men. Rubies are the most rare and highly valued gemstones. According to the International Gem Society, “Fine quality rubies are some of the most expensive gems, with record prices over $100,000 per carat.”

  

“And I, God, created man in mine own image, in the image of mine Only Begotten created I him; male and female created I them.” 

Moses 2:27

God created male and female after his own image. We are divinely created. Our gender is divinely appointed. We are literal offspring of God.

“When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!”

John 19:26

I love this explanation of the way Jesus uses woman:

The title woman may sound harsh and disrespectful to a modern reader; however, its use here by the Savior was likely meant to convey the opposite meaning.5 One scholar explains, “‘Woman,’ or, rather, ‘Lady,’ is in Greek a title of respect, used even in addressing queens.”

Imagine Christ saying to his mother “My lady, behold thy son.”

Isn’t that beautiful! This is an example of how much Christ loved and cared for his mother. While he was in agony on the cross, the thing he worried about most was that his mother was cared for.