An Ephiphany

Someone commented on a class discussion board about this quote from Elder Holland:

We do not have to be a herd of demonically possessed swine charging down Gadarene slopes toward the sea to understand that a body is the great prize of mortal life, and that even a pig’s will do for those frenzied pre-mortal spirits that rebelled, and to this day remain dispossessed in their first, unembodied estate.

Elder Holland goes on to quote James E. Talmage:

We have been taught … to look upon these bodies of ours as gifts from God. We Latter-day Saints do not regard the body as something to be condemned, something to be abhorred. We regard [the body] as the sign of our royal birthright. We recognize… that those who kept not their first estate… were denied that inestimable blessing…. We believe that these bodies… may be made, in very truth, the temple of the Holy Ghost…”

During the course of writing my response, I had an epiphany. 

Elder Holland has a way of saying things that really get the point across. Growing up we always heard our body is a temple. Working as an ordinance worker in the temple gives this statement greater significance. 

I bet you could ask any temple worker to show you the contents of their pockets and, aside from some lip balm and breath mints, they would have some sort of fluff or string or small piece of paper in there. I have buffed scuffs with the bottom of my slipper. Picked up a wayward kleenex and who knows how many pieces of fluff and strings in my time.

Something occurred to me regarding what we put into our bodies. 

This is the epiphany! 

Only those who have recommends - those who are worthy - are allowed to enter into the temple. Those who don't have them, aren't allowed access. I need to regard what I put into my body in the same way. What foods and amounts are "worthy" of going into my temple?

I found it really interesting that one of the Provident Living Plan suggestions was addiction -  and more specifically, relating to me - compulsive eating disorders.

This whole temple analogy testified to me that focusing on this addiction of mine is not only a way to learn how to overcome an addiction and to further sanctify myself, but is also teaching me how I should really view myself and how I should treat my own physical tabernacle.

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Reference:

Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Deseret Book, Salt Lake City, 2001

Step 1: Honesty

On Tuesday, I attended my first general addiction recovery meeting. It was so hard to go there. Kind of like when you are driving to the dentist to get a root canal. You don't really want to go, but you know you need to. 

Fortunately, someone else arrived at the same time I did, so I didn’t have to walk in alone. Everyone was kind and welcoming and the two sister missionaries facilitating the meeting were adorable.

The group was reading about Step 6 in this meeting, but afterward, they gave me a booklet to take home and told me to start working on Step 1 and go at my own pace. One of the things that I loved, and found so interesting, was that everything said there was said through a testimony of our Savior and the Atonement.

Throughout the week, I read step one a couple times, went to the addiction recovery site to get a little more information, and listened to a sample meeting for Step 1. It is amazing the depths of despair and loneliness and sin in which some people have to go to be ready to face their demons of addiction. I have nothing but admiration for people who have faced those demons head on and battle them every day.

Although addiction is addiction, I haven’t been brought to the point of losing my family, my home, my employment, my testimony, or my virtue in search of feeding an addiction. For this I am grateful.

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Step1: Honesty

KEY PRINCIPLE: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.

“. . . we soon discovered that the addiction relieved more than just physical pain. It provided stimulation or numbed painful feelings or moods. It helped us avoid the problems we faced—or so we thought. For a while, we felt free of fear, worry, loneliness, discouragement, regret, or boredom . . . “

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“Addiction surrenders later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one can literally become disconnected from his or her own will.” ^[1]

Admitting I am powerless over something is very hard for me to do. I don’t want to have to need anyone. I want to be able to power through whatever problem there is and come out on the other side. I don’t want to be vulnerable or weak or not good enough. I put a lot of pressure on myself to become better and life doesn’t let me do it as fast as I want.

Does this make my goals unrealistic? Perhaps. Is this giving me a reason to seek for comfort and solace in food? Probably. Does this mean I will have to change my goals and dreams? I don’t know.

Shouldn’t I be able to dream big, reach for the stars, seek to become something better? Isn’t that what understanding our divine nature is about?

Do I have to settle for less?

Is this all that I am meant to be?

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[1] Russell M. Nelson, Conference Report, Oct. 1988, 7; or Ensign, Nov. 1988, 7

[2] Addiction Recovery Program - A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing

Value of Women

While studying the second paragraph of The Family: A Proclamation to the World,

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

I looked up a few scriptures which I felt applied to its teachings.

 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

Proverbs 31:10

This speaks to the value the Savior puts upon women. They don’t have to become like men. Rubies are the most rare and highly valued gemstones. According to the International Gem Society, “Fine quality rubies are some of the most expensive gems, with record prices over $100,000 per carat.”

  

“And I, God, created man in mine own image, in the image of mine Only Begotten created I him; male and female created I them.” 

Moses 2:27

God created male and female after his own image. We are divinely created. Our gender is divinely appointed. We are literal offspring of God.

“When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!”

John 19:26

I love this explanation of the way Jesus uses woman:

The title woman may sound harsh and disrespectful to a modern reader; however, its use here by the Savior was likely meant to convey the opposite meaning.5 One scholar explains, “‘Woman,’ or, rather, ‘Lady,’ is in Greek a title of respect, used even in addressing queens.”

Imagine Christ saying to his mother “My lady, behold thy son.”

Isn’t that beautiful! This is an example of how much Christ loved and cared for his mother. While he was in agony on the cross, the thing he worried about most was that his mother was cared for.