During a study session for my Becoming Project on faithfulness, I received a bit of pointed chastisement.
I took time out before writing this and posted about how crazy life has been the past few months to make my feelings more understandable. Because of all this crazy in my life, I have been seriously contemplating asking to be released from my temple calling, instead of going back in a couple of weeks when my leave time runs out.
Fall semester starts next week and I am taking two classes. Homework has been a challenge with Bubba in the house. I come home from work and he wants to spend time with “uh-ma.” With my new job, I no longer get to leave early on Fridays. I used that time for homework.
During my leave from the temple, I have thoroughly enjoyed having my Saturdays again. I have been using them to do homework, putter around and get things done in the house, and play with Bubba. Thinking about going back makes me sad. This shouldn’t be the reaction to returning to my temple assignment. Looking at the calendar yesterday, at the day I am supposed to go back, literally made me sick to my stomach. I stayed home from church yesterday and went to bed.
My problem is that I know I am supposed to go back. I have been praying that He would help me change my desires to match what He wants me to do. This hasn’t happened. I have come to the slow realization that I have to do this because I have to do this.
Now to the chastisement.
I was reading the talk Help Thou Mine Unbelief by L. Whitney Clayton. There were three things that jumped out to me:
- To have faith in Jesus Christ means to have such trust in him that we obey whatever he commands. There is no faith where there is no obedience.
- We simply go and do the things the Lord has commanded, even when we are weary, trusting that He will help us to do exactly as He asks. As we do so, the Lord helps our unbelief, and our faith becomes powerful, vibrant, and unshakable.
- No matter who we are or where we live, there is much about our daily lives that is routine and repetitive. As we go about this dailiness, we must be deliberate about doing the things that matter most. These must-do things include making room first for the minimum daily requirements of faithful behavior: true obedience, humble prayer, serious scripture study, and selfless service to others. No other daily vitamins strengthen the muscles of our faith as fast as these actions.
There you have it. If I truly want to increase my faithfulness, this is what I have to do. I must simply go and do what matters most and trust that the Lord will take care of the rest.