I haven't posted in a long time and I have been trying to figure out why. After a bit of thought it is probably because for the past several months I have had a lot of turmoil in my life. This would seem to be the perfect time to post and get things out, however, most of it was regarding work and I didn't feel like I needed to talk about that publicly.
My life has drastically changed during the first half of this year and after not posting for so long it is hard to know where to begin. That added to the delays in posting.
In February, after working for my company for 3 years and in an Office Manager position, they did some departmental restructuring and eliminated my position. I was told they didn't want to lose me so they asked me to stay on in a recently vacated position as a Billing Specialist/Team lead. This is a position I had just been manager over. This was a very difficult thing to do. Part of me wanted to just quietly leave the company and never talk to anyone about it. Another part of me thought I just needed to suck it up and take the new position, especially in this economy. I stayed. It was a very difficult transition to go from being a manager to being a non manager in the same department and moving from an office to a desk in the general area. This new position also came with a lower rate of pay. It was especially difficult for those working with me. The first week or so a lot of people didn't want to look me in the eye and you could tell they were really uncomfortable around me. It wasn't a general announcement and the majority of the company didn't know about it and still treated me as though I was a manager. Really strange dynamic.
The "team" had a full plate with three people and was currently only two people. Needless to say we were swamped but we held on and actually made progress and were doing some great things. I was able to start a new auditing process that was finding a lot of revenue that wasn't being billed and catching things before they billed in error and preventing potential refund issues. Part of this new job was to be logged into a queue half of the day taking phone calls. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't like being on the phones. However, I did it and was great on the phones. My luck to excel in something I don't like. People who know me also know that I am a tad vocal when I notice things I feel are wrong and are causing problems. I tried to channel my "vocal inclinations" to my direct manager instead of talking about them to co workers and basically kept my head down and worked hard.
Mid June I was "let go". I was told I had a bad attitude and trouble prioritizing. I was totally surprised. I had never been written up.
Anyway, I am once again a stay at home mom. The thing that surprised me is how much I am enjoying it. I used to feel like being a SAHM was nothing special and to really be important or make an impact on the world, I needed to go to work. I needed to be a professional to be something.
I am so surprised by how much I am truly enjoying the time I am having this summer with my two teenagers. We are spending time crafting a lot and have just decided to open up an ETSY shop together. I am relearning how to cook. I have changed my eating habits a lot over the last few years in an effort to lose weight and get healthier. While I worked full time I rarely, if ever, cooked dinner. I am pretty much cooking every night. I am baking homemade wheat bread with flour I ground myself.
I am feeling like I am actually getting my Domestic Goddessness back. It is wonderful. It is scary not being employed and I am grateful for unemployment. I am still looking for a job, although in this economy it is really hard.
I don't know how long I will be unemployed but in the mean time I am trying to use my time wisely and take advantage of the time I have with my girls.
